


Team RAMEN!

by eri_quin



Series: A RMNTT-Ruled Remnant [2]
Category: RWBY
Genre: (Slightly) Older Ruby Rose (RWBY), Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Crack, BAMFs, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously (Sometimes?), Don't Take This Too Seriously, F/F, F/M, Just enjoy and be entertained~, Multi, Out of Character (most likely~), Reverse Harem (accidental/unintentional), Ruby got herself a harem, She didn't mean to though XD, have fun with this mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28098918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eri_quin/pseuds/eri_quin
Summary: In a weird, horribly wrong twist of fate, Ruby is the leader of a team comprised of Roman Torchwick and his henchwoman Neo, a cranky man named Adam Taurus, and a snarky older teen named Mercury Black. They were all a little strange and murderous (though she doubted they really were), but they were her team, even if two of them were reforming (she thought so) criminals. Just…two of them though, right? (But  then again, she got the sense she was the leader of a band of criminals anyway).“You’re here because of why I haven’t placed you on a team yet —To start with, yes the three of you will be on a single team together. As with the rules, Miss Rose’s eyes met the two of you and so make you partners. However, there are two more people I’d like to place on your team.”“Two? I thought it was four to a team, Sir?” Ruby asked in confusion.“That’s true —but your team will be a special case. Professor Goodwitch, if you’d please?”“Hello there, Red,” Roman Torchwick smirked at her. “Long time no see?"
Relationships: James Ironwood/Ruby Rose, Mercury Black/Ruby Rose, Neopolitan/Ruby Rose (RWBY), Ozpin/Ruby Rose (RWBY), Ruby Rose/Adam Taurus, Ruby Rose/Roman Torchwick, Ruby Rose/Various (one-sided)
Series: A RMNTT-Ruled Remnant [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098623
Comments: 48
Kudos: 112
Collections: Fanfiction I rate five stars





	1. Welcome to Beacon (Redux)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Don’t like the pairings? Find the exit yourself and don’t bother me. I’ve got 20+ years of writing and am just too old for your immature shit. Otherwise, enjoy and have an open mind~**

_Dear Romeo,_

_I hope this letter finds you well? I am looking over some of the plans you made over the specs I sent you from last time, and they were very impressive; the weapons specialists over here were very eager to go over it and were excited to get to work on them right away._

_Aside from work problems, how have you been? Is Signal any more of a challenge or still boring you? I could send over some of the Atlas curriculum studies for you. Even if it's still not challenging, you could benefit or find interest in the differences between Vale and Atlas education styles._

_I thought I'd also inform you my real name is James and to give you my Scroll number, so it'll be easier to talk. I assure you my line is secure._

_Sincerely,_

_Juliet  
  
_

_My Fair Juliet,_

_I'm good! Well…Yeah, actually, I'm not. My sister is going to Beacon and I'll be alone at Signal, and I'm worried I'll be picked on again. It's not my fault I'm so small and really good at my studies! Maybe I should slack off? I don't know._ _I don't know_ _—I'm just over worrying, I guess. And insecure? You ever get like that, Juliet?_

_James. Right, thanks for trusting me with your name. I guess I'll tell you mine too! I'm Ruby and I'm really happy I can just tell you these things. I like writing to you. I feel like I have a friend for once._

_I'd like some stuff from Atlas, if you don't mind. I'd think it'd be really cool and I wouldn't be stuck with Signal's curriculum! And if you want, I could send over some more ideas too? I won't be stuck with just doing boring stuff at Signal at least. And do you want me to look over your revolvers too? I know you described them to me last time and I had some ideas that you might like!_

_After I send this, I'll add your Scroll number and message you after you probably end up with this letter —I'm pretty glad and amazed that somehow our letters are able to be mailed so fast! While you end up reading this letter, I'm gonna send you our first Scroll message! I'm super excited~_

_Talk to you soon!_

_Your Romeo_

The small-statured girl smiled widely as she folded the letter up and then put it in an envelope. She was going to miss sending 'Juliet' letters; it was old-fashioned but fun, and there was a sort of old-school, lovely magical feel to communicating this way with him. But she could send him quick messages now! They were close enough for it! And he even gave her his real name.

She was going to miss addressing him as Juliet though~

Giggling to herself, Ruby Rose danced out of the house so she could go mail her letter to her longtime penpal.

* * *

Later on in the day, Ruby had gone to the city to look for Yang and do her own errands. Unfortunately, she found Yang in a mess at some dark underground club and face palmed at the damage (and the whole ordeal while she was at it!). After dealing with her sister and sighing at the damage to the club, she went to get more Dust for Crescent Rose. Having used up everything that morning after visiting her mother's grave and taking care of a pack of Beowolves that had descended on her, she was completely out and needed to refill her stores.

But now there was this mess with the robbery!

"Get back here, you Clockwork Orange Wannabe!" Ruby screamed as she chased after the white-clad thief.

"I take offense to that!" he screamed back at her, getting aboard a bullhead. "I'm an original, thanks very much!"

"Says your hair color and whole look!"

She aimed at the propellers just as he threw a red Dust crystal at her, with her ammo colliding with the crystal and causing a huge explosion that destroyed the propellers of the bullhead and caused it to start its descent downwards. At the same time, the explosion went towards Ruby as well, and she gasped as she was too slow to avoid it. But the purple shield that protected her, however, was not.

A pretty blonde woman quickly came to a stop in front of her, protecting her from the blast. While hearing the looming sounds of the crashing airship, the blonde turned towards her with a frown.

"You, young lady, are coming with me."

Ruby winced.

* * *

Roman Torchwick wasn't in the habit of getting caught. And hell, a short too cute of a little brat was the one to be his downfall! He just needed Neo —that's all. His ace in the hole will get him out of this predicament, while he sat there cursing that bitch of a woman who'd left him behind to be arrested by the authorities.

But his hopes were dwindling by the seconds, more so as he was approached by none other than the infamous Headmaster of Beacon. Ozpin didn't seem like much, but there was an odd heavy air about him that made Roman uneasy. Then a blonde woman came in, bringing in a sheepish Neo with her, and Roman's stomach dropped.

Fuck.

"Well, I see that this has become a predicament for you and your assistant," Ozpin spoke in a deliberate tone, watching him over his glasses.

Roman smiled mock-charmingly. "Isn't it? I suppose she and I have some explaining to do, _Lucy_."

Ozpin hmmed. "While I enjoy your taste in classic sitcoms, I must get straight to the point. You are caught. You _could_ go to prison, serving time there, abandoned by your compatriot." Shit, how'd he know about Cinder? "Or you could accept a deal."

Roman perked up at that, while Neo listened intently, trading a look with him.

"A deal, huh? I'm listening," he said carefully. He wasn't much fond of Cinder after she just left him to this fate, but he was also aware of her newfound power and this shadowy organization and plan that was taking place.

Hmm, if anyone could provide him a cover and protection…Ozpin could possibly be his best bet.

Ozpin smiled slowly and Roman thought that he might come to regret this.

* * *

Both males stared at each other warily, keeping their mouths shut. The older of the two was in no hurry to talk to the other, and the younger was pretty exhausted and tied up anyway.

The Branwen man winced and pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked at the kid and gritted his teeth. Why on hell on Remnant did he drag this dumbass with him?

"I see you've been busy," Ozpin said, appearing in the room and joining his side, watching the offspring of the infamous assassin Marcus Black.

"I should've dumped his ass into a prison cell, not dragged him here," Qrow grumbled, glancing at Ozpin.

"…Plans have a way of suddenly coming up when you least expect it," Ozpin murmured. "You should know your niece has earned her way to attending Beacon two years early."

Qrow raised an eyebrow at him, though he was inwardly very pleased and proud.

"Ruby did, huh?" he muttered, hiding a grin so that the kid in front of him wouldn't catch onto anything between him and Ozpin.

"She did," Ozpin confirmed. "Quite brilliantly, I might add."

"Sounds good," Qrow couldn't quite hide his beaming expression. "I should head over to congratulate her."

"Hm, of course. I'd like, however, for you to stay a moment as I have an offer for Mr. Black here," Ozpin said.

Qrow scowled. "You've got to be shitting me! After what this kid helped to do to Amber?"

"And precisely why I have need of him," Ozpin said calmly. "And he can atone for what he did by accepting."

"Who says he'll accept?" Qrow grumbled mutinously.

"I have a feeling," the silver-haired man murmured, watching the tiredly smirking older teen watching the two adults.

* * *

"This is awesome!" Yang hugged her. "We get to go to Beacon together!"

Ruby smiled, though her sister was suffocating her a bit. "I know, right? I'm excited too!"

But, remembering she hadn't messaged Juliet — _James_ —yet, she excused herself.

"I've got to write Juliet," she told her sister, who nodded. Her family had been knowing about her penpal, though she'd not told them about their exchanging of Scroll numbers or about James' real name.

Moving to the side of the airship cabin, she found a private, quiet place and took out her Scroll.

_R: Hi, Juliet! It's Romeo —Sorry I didn't message you here like I told you I would. I got super distracted. The thing is that I got accepted to Beacon early! By two years too, so I don't have to be stuck at Signal and I get to start Beacon with my sister. I'm super, super excited!_

Ruby was about to put away her Scroll when she saw that James was typing at the moment and she excitedly waited. This was awesome! Their messages could now be really quick to each other.

_J: It's good to hear from you. I was getting worried when I didn't get your message when you said I would. I'm pleased you get to escape from Signal early and can hopefully enjoy your time at Beacon better! I know that at least you'll have a more challenging experience and I will tell you that the professors at Beacon are top notch. Nothing like Atlas, of course, but I'm quite biased. I'm also very proud! Two years early into Beacon —that's very impressive of you and quite the accomplishment. I'll have to forward the Atlas material to there instead, as well as the specs for my revolvers._

Ruby smiled widely to herself, happy to read the message from her friend. But then there was another message that made her smile become even happier.

_J: You_ _**are** _ _allowed to call me James, Ruby. I don' t mind you using my name._

Ruby's cheeks warmed and she was pretty sure they were hurting from how wide and persistent her smile was.

_R: Thanks! I'll remember that…James._

Pleased, she put away her Scroll and went to go find her sister, only to run into one of the older teens there. Slicked-back but also unkempt gray-hair with equally gray eyes, the older boy faced her and a large smirk crossed his face.

"Hey there," he held out a hand and she noticed the rerebraces and vambraces he wore. "Name's Mercury Black."

Excited to be making a potential friend outside of James, she took his hand. "I'm Ruby Rose! Pleased to meet you."

"You seem pretty young to be entering Beacon," he said casually and she blushed.

"Uh, yeah. 16 actually! I got in early due to some circumstances," she hesitated and he nodded.

"I see. Sounds like an interesting story —maybe you'd be interested in sharing once we become better acquainted?"

She beamed at him, pleased that her usual social awkwardness hadn't prevented her from befriending Mercury.

"Of course! I'd like that very much," Ruby said eagerly. Seeing her sister looking her way and calling her over, she excused herself. "I think my sister's calling for me," she gave him an apologetic look. "Maybe we can talk more later?"

"Sounds good to me," he said, smiling pleasantly at her and she gave him one last smile before leaving for her sister.

Mercury, meanwhile, let his smirk grow wide. That was just too easy. Apparently that girl was his target, according to Ozpin, and he had the luck to run into her already.

He just had to keep getting into her good graces and climb himself out of this hole Cinder had left him in after the debacle with that Fall Maiden.

His survival instinct will get him through this.

* * *

The glare he wore could've killed a thousand men, but his pain in the ass 'friend' only looked away uncomfortably.

"I don't know why I decided to do this with you, Blake," he hissed and was regretting every moment of his impulsive decision to follow Blake Belladonna in abandoning the White Fang.

"Maybe you do, Adam," she just gave him a faint smile and he continued to curse her continually in his head.

The Bull Faunus was already feeling his skin crawl as they walked towards Beacon's campus. Despite seeing Faunus around as well, there were just too many filthy _humans_ for him to relax.

"I fucking do _not_ ," Adam sneered, feeling uncomfortable without his usual mask. He opened his mouth again, when he saw an obvious Schnee and her load of shit being lugged towards the school. Another girl was distracted and about to run into the Schnee bitch's suitcases.

He stomped forward and grasped the girl's red hood and yanked her back, keeping her from tripping into what was obviously a shit ton of Dust. The hell that Schnee was doing bringing all that here?!

"Be more careful," Adam snarled, turning his attention to the girl he held in his hand (and ignoring the oblivious walking away Schnee), only to freeze in place as she looked at him with wide silver eyes, tilting her head cutely to the side.

A faint memory of a zoo and a tiny, adorable animal he watched when he was a child —small, innocent, cute even to a kid him…

"Panda," he muttered out, watching her curiously watch him back.

Weirdly enough, with her coloring, his mind went to associate her with a red panda. And then he mentally smacked himself. The hell?!

"That girl's probably got vials of Dust in her suitcases," he grumbled, rapidly releasing his hold on her and agitatedly looking away from the girl. "Be more damn careful of your surroundings."

To his mortification, she smiled happily and _hugged_ him. "Thank you for your thoughtfulness! It's very sweet of you!"

Horrified, he wanted to shove her off of him when he saw Blake and saw her faintly amused and smiling at him. Rapidly taking a step back from this girl, he clenched his jaw.

"Just watch yourself!"

Fuck, he regretted this whole thing!

* * *

Ruby took out her Scroll, shoving her sleeping sister farther away from her spot so she had space. After being saved by the young man with auburn hair and horns that signified he was a Faunus, she'd gotten lost and run into "Vomit-Boy", who she learned was Jaune Arc. He was friendly enough and they'd even managed to make it in time to the Welcoming Ceremony. Ozpin sounded pretty strange though? She assumed he had a lot on his mind or something…

Finding James' number, she decided to message him before turning in for the night.

_R: Hi! I just wanted to say goodnight before turning in. Hope I'm not disturbing you._

She saw she was quickly getting a message back and happily waited.

_J: Have some time to talk about your day? And you're not disturbing me at all. Just finished some papers I had to look over. Bored, to be honest._

_R: I actually made a few friends today! Already so much better than at Signal. One of them even saved me from making a dumb-dumb mistake and making an explosion of epic proportions. Guess some girl came here with a large amount of Dust in suitcases?_

_J: Ah, sounds like Winter's sister. I know you originally reached out and talked to Winter Schnee with those weapon schematics? Her younger sister went to attend Beacon this year. I'm pretty sure that's the girl you're talking about._

_R: Gotcha! Yeah, glad I avoided that altercation then._

_J: Weiss is a bit high-handed and…spoilt…Much like Winter actually, though don't mention I said that about her, you hear? She'll have my head._

_R: Promise!_

_J: Anyway, she's actually a good girl though. She means well, most of the time, but may take a while to warm up to you, so just keep that in mind and don't get too offended if she…gets a bit…haughty?_

_R: Alright? I'll keep that in mind._

_J: Good girl. Now sleep and rest well. You'll have a busy day tomorrow! Team placements start right away._

_R: K, good night, James._

_J: Good night, Ruby._

Ruby shut off her Scroll and finally went to go to sleep, pleased with how her day had turned out.

Started 12/5/20 – Completed 12/6/20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just go with it, people, and have fun :) Enjoy this mess and don’t try to make sense of it. It’s crack taken (sometimes) serious and meant to just laugh at and be entertained~
> 
> Quick Points:
> 
> 1\. James took more of a presence than I originally meant to –probs ‘cause the things I’ve been hearing on Volume 8 is giving me anxiety and depression XD
> 
> 2\. Ages: Ruby is aged up a year (as is WBY and the others). I’m gonna go with, since Junior didn’t mind flirting with a 17 year old Yang or Professor Port acting flirty with students, that age of consent is 16-17. It also means that entrance to Beacon is 18 not 17, which is how I feel is better –what with them entering a ‘dangerous’ profession and therefore more responsibly at those ages entering that kind of field. Also, Beacon feels more like a continuation school with Signal being the equivalent of high school? XD


	2. Hell of a Team

Waking up wasn't too much of a chore —her whole body was vibrating in excitement and she was raring to get started. Knowing from what James had told her last night that she was going to be placed in a team soon, it just made her all too eager to find out how that was going to happen and who her teammates were going to be. She really hoped Yang would be on her team, but she also wouldn't mind Mercury or that cool older Faunus she'd met yesterday.

Curiously watching Jaune and the girl James had told her was named Weiss interact, which was all after the pretty red-head she knew was the famed Pyrrha Nikos having talked to those two, Ruby was then surprised by a boisterous Yang and her bear hug that exasperated her. Together, they finished up there and the sisters then moved on, heading out to the place where they were to start.

Ozpin and Professor Goodwitch, that pretty blonde lady from before who'd protected her, were both quietly waiting at the cliff side. After a quick intro to what they were to do, Ruby curiously but eagerly got ready on her launch pad.

And then it wasn't long until she was being launched into the air and about to land into a forest filled with Grimm and hopefully meet her new partner.

"WHOOHOO!"

Despite the adrenaline junkie scream and the poor bird she rammed into on her way down, Ruby managed to land quite nicely and started to make her way through the forest. So far she hadn't run into anyone, nor had she run into any Grimm. It was actually quite boring and she pouted to herself.

"Where is everyone?" she whined to herself. Not even a stupid Grimm had shown up!

And then, hearing rustling, she tensed up and whipped out Crescent Rose, expanding it into its scythe form. And, to her absurd luck, two people landed in front of her and she looked at them both, making eye contact with Mercury and that nice Faunus from before.

"Oh!" she said in surprise, collapsing her weapon back into travel form. "Wait, does that mean you're both my partners?" she asked in anxious confusion.

Mercury and her Faunus friend looked at her with jaws agape and then looked at each other.

"Damn," the Faunus muttered.

"Oh hell," Mercury slapped his forehead.

She gave them an awkward smile and both young men sighed and strode forward, grabbing a hand of hers each and then continuing on together.

* * *

This was _not_ in the plan, Mercury groused in his head. He was supposed to find and partner up with Ruby and be part of her team. Having to have someone _else_ also somehow become her partner too, by some fucked up luck of the universe, was almost like some being up there was purposely mucking things up and laughing at them.

This could _not_ just be coincidence.

"So, just to reintroduce myself, I'm Ruby Rose," his new 'partner' smiled and he blinked at her weirdly way too much cuteness. It made him press his lips in a tight line and uncomfortably need to look away.

There was a really weird urge to coo at her that made him balk and wonder what the hell?

"I'm Mercury Black," he drawled, glancing over to the third unwanted element to their group, before looking and focusing on Ruby. "But you knew that."

Ruby just continued to look too cutely at him.

"Adam Taurus," the Faunus beside them said through clenched teeth.

"Pleased to meet you!" Ruby practically gushed out happily. "And thanks again for yesterday! I really appreciated the save!"

Save? What save? What did he miss? He didn't even know the two had met beforehand.

"You're…welcome," Taurus said uncomfortably.

Ugh, this would've been so much easier if that Faunus asshole hadn't butted in and had found some other person to partner up with.

* * *

Adam wanted to curse out Blake again. The two of them were _supposed_ to partner up and instead he'd run into humans —admittedly one that he uncomfortably kept thinking of as a panda and 'cute', both thoughts of which disturbed him deeply.

Things weren't going his way at all and he was continuing to regret following Blake into this mess. He should've stayed with the White Fang. He should've gone along with the plans, and damned all those people. He could've killed them. He could've lived with it. He could've —

"This is really great! You two, aside from my sister and Juliet, are actually my two first ever friends! I'm really happy I get to be on a team with you guys!"

He twitched.

No. No, he was _not_ feeling sorry for this weird but stupidly cute human girl. No, he was most definitely was not —

She stopped in place and hugged Black and then him tightly.

"Let's be good friends, okay?"

Adam inwardly made a face and quickly grasped her shoulder, hurrying forwards and shaking his head at himself.

"Come on, Ruby," he let slip her name in an annoyed mutter. "Let's just get this task over with."

He still thought humans were disgusting, hateful things, even if Ruby was looking to be a weird exception.

He still wouldn't concede to Blake about them and this absurd idea of humans and Faunus coexisting together.

* * *

Ozpin sipped his mug, rewatching the past proceedings. What an interesting development —Ruby Rose, the girl he had high hopes for, partnered with Mercury Black (an assassin's son and most likely trained and worked as an assassin himself) and Adam Taurus —former, secretly abdicated leader of the Vale branch of the White Fang.

Mercury he had accounted for —had even directed him to find Ruby and partner with her, find a place in her team at least. But this was a very fortunate turn of events. He had seen the applications of Adam along with Blake Belladonna, and had been considering what it meant to have them be in his school…but Adam's placement with Ruby solved that a bit.

Adam Taurus was well known to have a hatred against humans, and Ruby was primed to be a good example of the good side of the human race and hopefully change his views.

The three of them, along with Weiss Schnee, the aforementioned Blake, and Ruby's sister Yang Xiao Long, had made an impressive counter attack against the Nevermore that Ruby had finished off with a final slice of her scythe.

"Ozpin?"

Facing his good friend and colleague, Ozpin allowed himself an enigmatic smile Glynda looked suspiciously at him for.

"I have an idea," his smile briefly took on a mischievous turn that made shivers go up her spine. "I've actually been forming and already putting it together for a while now."

"Do I want to know?" she asked dryly.

Ozpin chuckled. "It'll be quite the investment, I believe."

* * *

To Ruby's confusion, after the Team Placement Ceremony (in which neither she, Mercury, or Adam had been placed together or in any team), the three of them were called into Ozpin's office. The Headmaster sat behind his desk and Goodwitch was beside him. The three of them stopped before his desk.

Ozpin sat back in his chair and observed them. "I assume you three are confused as to why you are here and why you haven't been placed in a team?"

"Yeah, wouldn't mind some explanations?" Mercury huffed.

"You're here _because_ of why I haven't placed you on a team yet —To start with, yes the three of you will be on a single team together. As with the rules, Miss Rose's eyes met the two of you and so make you partners. However, there are two more people I'd like to place on your team."

"Two? I thought it was four to a team, Sir?" Ruby asked in confusion.

He nodded in acknowledgment. "That's true —but your team will be a special case. Professor Goodwitch, if you'd please?"

Goodwitch made a 'hmph' sound and walked away, disappearing through a door, only to come back with two surprising people in tow. Not recognizing the young woman, Ruby _did_ recognize the older man that accompanied her and Goodwitch into Ozpin's office.

"Hello there, Red," Roman Torchwick smirked at her. "Long time no see? Well, sort of. Not that much time has passed after all!"

"Hey there, Clockwork Orange," she deadpanned, causing Adam and Mercury to glance at her in surprise. "Looking as vibrant as always."

"Fresh and ready," he winked at her.

Ruby scoffed.

"Play nice, you two," Ozpin interrupted. "Miss Rose, I'd like to have Mr. Torchwick and his…friend Miss Neopolitan added to your team. Given that you were largely involved and the main reason Mr. Torchwick was apprehended, it was believed that it would be a good idea for you to be the one to keep an eye on him."

Ruby looked at him in disbelief, as did everyone else there. Was he serious?!

"You can't be serious, Professor Ozpin!" Goodwitch echoed everyone's thoughts aloud. "Miss Rose is not equipped to deal with a criminal!"

Ozpin waved a hand dismissively. "She's more than capable of 'kicking his ass', as you youths would say," he smirked, chuckling as their expressions became worse. "And as has been implied, this also means that Miss Rose will be Team Leader."

"This is insanity," Mercury gave him an uncertain look.

"She would be fine as our leader, but…" Adam glanced at Torchwick skeptically. "You honestly want him in our team?"

"You all can think it over for the night," Ozpin offered. "Unfortunately, as your team hasn't been formally formed, you haven't been assigned a room yet. There's a spare room here that you all may use for the night and can take the time to get to know each other."

"This is ridiculous," Goodwitch muttered, but Ozpin ignored her.

"That hallway to your left, first door," he pointed out calmly and the strange group uncertainly walked together in that direction.

Beyond confused and weirded out, the group settled into the room and stared awkwardly at each other. Ruby felt the beginnings of panic and pushed it down, trying not to get overwhelmed. And honestly, with this group and since she was apparently Team Leader, she had to do her best and also get them to work together.

"I'll start!" Ruby forced cheer into her voice. "I'm Ruby and 16, and I love weapons! My personal weapon is Crescent Rose, a hybrid of a scythe and sniper rifle."

Neopolitan excitedly raised her hand next and Torchwick sighed and jerked his chin over to her.

"She's mute so she'll communicate through a Scroll," he said even as Neopolitan was already typing into a Scroll. She then held it up.

_Hiya! You all can just call me Neo! I love ice cream and Roman's my best friend! I also enjoy cutting up people and watching people bleed!_

Ruby twitched and her already awkward smile faltered. Thankfully, Adam started talking and went next.

"I'm Adam," he said flatly. "I'm a Bull Faunus and I hate humans. Next."

She gaped at him then and re-trekked through her memories of him and their interactions, despairing over the thought that maybe it wasn't as mutually happily met as she thought.

"And I'm Mercury," her other friend said in boredom. "I'm not a people person normally and would rather fight my way through things."

Ruby felt unbalanced at the moment. Was this really going to be her team? How in Remnant was she going to be able to lead them?! What was Ozpin thinking!

Torchwick sighed, noticing her predicament and feeling just a _bit_ sympathetic for her.

"Why don't you go to sleep, Red? This is probably a rough surprise on you."

Ruby blinked, before casting him a surprised look and then giving a tremulous smile at the surprising support from the criminal.

"Yeah…yeah, sounds good," she murmured. "I'm just gonna message Juliet a moment and then turn in…"

"Juliet?" Mercury asked.

"Longtime penpal," she answered distractedly, grabbing her Scroll.

She messaged James about her day, sending only a brief message about gaining her partners in the forest and how she ended up with two of them, and then how there was a weird situation going on with teams for her. She did mention how she was the Team Leader and that one of her teammates was mute, asking if there was any Atlesian technology that could help with that.

About to sleep, she got a message from James first that made her smile and feel a little better after things.

_J: Congrats on your team and being leader! That's a surprising twist of a double partner up, but shouldn't be a problem. You'll do well with them as leader of your team. As for your mute team member, we do have a few technological instruments that could help? I believe we have a voice simulator that I can express send overnight. Rest well, Ruby, and don't worry._

* * *

Once they were sure Ruby was out like a light, the four left awake watched each other warily.

"So who's in the 'Hate and will willingly spill Cinder's guts out' group?" Mercury started first and raised his hand, followed by Torchwick and Neo.

"Who's Cinder?" Taurus asked with a sneer.

"Dark-haired woman that came to recruit you and the White Fang and you'd refused," Mercury hmphed.

Taurus raised his hand too.

"Okay, so now that we're all agreed we would drop that bitch like a hot iron, can we _please_ ask why the hell we're here?" Torchwick grumbled.

Neo signed something that only Torchwick understood, and they watched him rub his temples in agitation.

"After we failed to recruit this bastard," Mercury jabbed a thumb in Taurus' direction, ignoring the man's scowl, "Cinder wanted us to…find and ambush someone. It didn't quite go the way we expected and I got left behind and captured. I had to cut a deal," he then quickly glanced at Ruby.

"Aaah, to do with our resident scythe wielder," Torchwick drew out his words, catching the glance. "To be honest, same here. Ozpin, the wily bastard, said some very convincing things to get me to come here. Obviously, I'm going to agree to this silly team."

"Same," Mercury made a face though.

Neo perked up and excitedly waved her hand and Torchwick sighed. "She's my partner. Clearly she'll accompany me into this ridiculous thing."

The three of them then turned to Taurus who sneered. "I didn't have to cut a deal —I came here on my own accord, because I decided —in all my short-sighted wisdom — to accompany a… _friend_ here. We bailed the White Fang after that boss of yours tried to recruit the White Fang into whatever she's selling."

"Former boss," both Torchwick and Mercury said, before giving each other a disdainful look.

"Welp, looks like we're stuck in this insane collection of criminals of a team, with Red as the leader," Torchwick rolled his eyes.

Taurus gave their sleeping leader a look over. "You all _do_ realize she's the only one of us who's not a criminal?"

"And without violent tendencies," Torchwick added.

"Oh poor girl," Mercury shook his head. "Stuck with a bunch of murderous assholes for teammates."

Neo silently giggled.

Started 12/6/20 — Completed 12/6/20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy heck, I did not expect to see this level of interest in this fic XD Where's my eye emoji when I need it? Lol, but seriously it's amazing, so thanks everyone! Honestly wasn't expecting there to be much interest in this crackish fic with weird pairings, and now I'm all giddy about it :D I hope you all continue to enjoy!
> 
> Quick Points:
> 
> 1\. Fun Fact #1: I was supposed to be working on my more serious RWBY fic first, but somehow I started writing this one first and had more progress on it than my other fic XD I don't how that happened? But geez, my priorities…
> 
> 2\. Fun Fact #2: Yep, James and Ruby named each other after the first initial of their first names, therefore James gets to be Juliet and Ruby Romeo~ Lolol, I'd idly considered writing a side fic of James' side of the correspondence but it was just a thought (though more tempting the more I write their odd communications).
> 
> 3\. Hoping to double update this for Christmas Eve and Christmas as a gift for you all, so wish me luck and focus on my editing!


	3. Bedroom Troubles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays! Here's an early gift for you all <3

When Ruby woke up, she groggily sat up and looked around. Seeing her passed out potential teammates around her, she rubbed her face tiredly and got out of bed and tiptoed to the bathroom. After cleaning up a bit, she heard very precise knocking on the door and went to answer it, freezing as she saw all of her teammates immediately wake up and jump out of bed, looking wary and ready for an attack.

"Um, morning, guys?" she said in confusion. "I'm gonna answer the door…"

When she opened it, she found Goodwitch on the other end and holding a package. Her eyebrows were furrowed together as she looked at her sternly.

"I believe this belongs to you? It arrived this morning, Miss Rose."

Oh! It must be the voice simulator that James promised! Wow, that really _was_ quick. She'll have to thank him for it immediately, considering she hadn't expected it to come so soon.

"Thank you, Professor Goodwitch!" she beamed up at her teacher. "I appreciate it!"

Goodwitch's expression softened and she nodded at her before leaving. Then Ruby turned to face her hopefully future teammates and went to sit on her bed, opening the nondescript box up.

"Hey, Neo," she excitedly addressed the only other girl in the room. "I messaged my friend last night about your muteness and he sent over a voice simulator for me to give you! I can't believe it got here so fast!"

Busy opening it up and focused on the package, she didn't see Neo's heterochromic eyes go wide or the silent squeal she made before rushing over and tackling Ruby into a glomp that had them both almost fall off the bed.

Adam, who was closest to them, quickly reached out and grasped Ruby's arm to straighten her out, though he had a strange, considering expression on his face towards her.

"Oh, here it is, Neo," Ruby reached around the box awkwardly, since Neo was still hanging around her neck.

Roman, since he was going to be on her team and might as well be more familiar, strode over and plucked Neo off of Ruby, though he was also watching her in curious gratefulness.

"How kind of you, Red," he started out. "What on Remnant possessed you to do such a thing?"

Ruby blinked, looking at him in confusion. "What, why? She's gonna be my future teammate and all, and plus why not? If I had a way to help her, shouldn't I?"

"Oum, this girl is way too innocent and too kind for this group of lunatics," she heard Mercury mumble and she simultaneously blushed and looked at him in even more confusion.

"Okay, it's settled," Roman straightened up, while Neo began setting up her new voice simulator. "We're now agreeing formally to be a team!"

"Say aye," Mercury deadpanned.

"Aye!" Neo happily spoke, her voice simulator lighting up. She giggled and then tossed herself at Ruby again, glomping onto her tightly.

"Um…aye?" Ruby choked out.

"This is gonna be a long ass four years," Adam grumbled.

* * *

When the group trekked back into his office, Ozpin looked them over carefully, not looking over to the still disapproving Glynda to his side. He immediately noted the voice simulator around Neopolitan's neck and inwardly frowned, wondering how and when she got her hands on one. It wasn't even on the Atlesian market yet and looked like one of the newer models that was to be introduced later in the year.

He also noted the strange (though admittedly pleasing placement) of the group, with Ruby being in the middle, Neopolitan glomping the poor girl tightly, Roman behind the young leader, and Mercury and Adam on either of her sides. What a protective detail Ruby had somehow already immediately gained! With her team like this, Ruby's security detail was more or less set in place.

Silver-eyed Warriors weren't a dime a dozen after all.

"Hello, Professor Ozpin," Ruby smiled sweetly at him, making his lips twitch. "We've got an answer for you about the team formation!"

"We're in!" Roman said cheerfully. "You've got us _hook, line and sinker_ ," he gave a menacing smile, mimicking a noose around his neck. When Ruby turned to him though, Roman straightened up and looked normal, though he did look at Ozpin challengingly.

"Yeah, I suppose so," Mercury added to the consensus. "It's not a bad lineup after all."

"Better with humans I know and one I tolerate," Adam said flatly, giving another considering look over to an oblivious Ruby.

"Wonderful," Ozpin concluded. "You five will now be a team together. As for your team name…"

"RAMEN!" Neopolitan shouted, the voice simulator going high.

"It's not a color," Adam pointed out.

"Our initials together form RRAMN, which does sound like ramen though," Ruby pointed out with a giggle.

Adam and Mercury rolled their eyes, while Roman snorted and twirled his cane in boredom. Ozpin watched all this in amusement, while Glynda looked utterly befuddled and more and more aggravated.

Four out of five in this team were criminals, with the only non-criminal being not only the most sweetest and innocent of the group…but its leader.

Oum help this poor girl.

"Technically, RRAMN, well RAMN, can stand for RAMSONS of hex color family of cyan," Roman sniffed disdainfully, "so yes, a color."

"But we're going to pronounce it as ramen," Neopolitan stubbornly insisted, her voice simulator lighting up as she 'talked'.

"It will, actually, _not_ be a color," Glynda finally interrupted, eyes blazing at the group. Everyone but Ruby (who looked sheepish) just glanced at her in boredom. "Your team name will be Team RMNTT, pronounced Remnant. A special case name for your team, since you _are_ a special case."

"…"

"So I know it'll officially be that, but can we still call ourselves Team Ramen?" Neopolitan asked the others, not noticing (or more probably ignoring the tick developing at Glynda's temple).

"Yeah, sure," Mercury shrugged.

"Hn," Adam tacked out only.

"You okay with that, oh glorious leader?" Roman drawled, all of them turning to Ruby.

"Oh!" she turned a little red. _Cute_. "Doesn't bother me any? Sure?"

Neo cheered, Glynda pinched the bridge of her nose.

Ozpin hid his smile behind his clasped hands.

* * *

"Hmm, I should talk to my sister and let her know what's going on, since I didn't even get to talk to her then," Ruby mused aloud. "I know she was confused about my team and what was happening, and was worried during the Team Placement Ceremony. Wonder why her team's only got three then?"

"No idea," Neo said cheerfully. "But you can talk to her later! Let's all bond as a team! We got a room to fix up!"

"Oh, but aren't we late for class?" she asked them, feeling maybe just a bit anxious about that.

"Nah," Mercury waved her off.

"Who cares," Adam said uncaringly.

"This is ours," Roman tapped his cane against a door and they opened it to peer inside. Ruby thought it looked nice and much bigger than her room in Patch.

"How quaint," Roman sneered.

"Meh, it'll do," Mercury shrugged.

Adam just hnned.

"I think we could spruce it up," Neo said optimistically and Ruby sighed in relief and happy to have someone else be just as upbeat with her.

"It's not that bad, guys!" Ruby added on. "Let's make it our own!"

"Not enough space," Roman eyed the inside. "I want a huge bed."

He stepped inside with Neo and then the two began to haul all the beds and place them together.

"The hell y'all doing?!" Adam gave them an askance glance, but they ignored him and finished up.

"Ta da!" Roman gestured to the side by side compilation of beds put together. "We've got ourselves more space and we can have a huge bed!"

"Hell no!" Mercury put his arms in an X, while Adam made a disgusted face. "We are _not_ sharing a bed."

Ruby examined it before deciding a test jump was needed. She got ready for it before her hood was yanked back and Adam held her still.

"Nope, not happening, Panda-Girl," he deadpanned, giving her a look. She blinked. Panda-Girl? "There's no way you're jumping on that hazard."

Ruby pouted, but looked on eagerly as Neo did the jump for her, the older girl squealing in glee and then cackling as the beds split apart at the force of her landing.

"Well, we hadn't exactly secured the beds together," Roman huffed. "Of course that was going to happen."

"My turn," Neo told them, getting up and shuffling everyone out. "I'll fix our room!"

They were shoved out and looked at each other in uncertainty before three of them turned to look at the fourth. Roman shrugged.

"I have no idea what she's up to," Roman answered their silent question. "She does what she wants, when she wants. Even I can't control her."

Before they could say anything, the door opened and Neo popped her head out. "Okay! Come see our new room."

And, as they stepped in to see their room, it was an utterly unanimous answer (with even Ruby agreeing).

" _No_."

In a perfect example of girl _hell_ , the entire room had somehow become pink, lacy, and pastel everywhere. Also the ultimate picture of 'cutesy', there was no way the three men in the group was staying in there. Ruby couldn't look at the room herself, not without making a face at it.

Neo pouted. "Fine. We'll change it."

"Let's go furniture shopping," Adam surprisingly suggested. "We might as well completely redesign this whole place."

Neo clapped her hands. "Oooh! Sounds fun —let's make this a team bonding thing!"

"But classes?" Ruby interjected uneasily, looking at the time. They were _so_ late!

Roman pointed at Neo. "18," then to Mercury, "19 ," then to Adam, "23." Then he bowed. "20 fucking 7. We're all too old for classes, Red."

She stared at them and then weakly pointed at herself. "But I'm 16 and haven't graduated?" Plus, wasn't 18 the entrance age to Beacon?! And 21 the exit age?!

Mercury walked over first, snatching her hand on the way out of the room. "Yeah, no. Time to teach you how to play hooky, Puppy-Cat."

"What's with the nicknames?!"

* * *

The first thing Ruby said as the group entered the IKEA store was —

"I want bunk beds!"

Clearly, going by Neo's excited look, she agreed and Mercury and Adam didn't care either way. Roman made a face though. "Not enough room for me, plus I need a bigger bed."

"Twin bed size only," Neo said firmly, giving him a chastising look that he huffed at.

"We could double bunk bed over to one side of the room, so that there's four beds bunked there and Roman's bed can be under the window and adjacent to one side of the bunk beds," Ruby was thoughtfully going through the image of it in her head, then got out her Scroll and began mapping it out there.

Her team crowded around her and looked at her Scroll.

"I see what you're talking about," Roman scrutinized it. "We even have room to make a small living room."

"Oh, I like that," Ruby agreed.

"Can we get a TV?" Mercury chimed in, getting into the whole designing of their dorm room.

Adam reached over and tapped the Scroll. "The other side of the room can serve as the living room. I can set up the TV, but we're going to have to buy a couch set then."

"Bean bags?" Ruby asked them, not noticing the puppy dog look she gained and was becoming too powerful by the second.

Adam hurriedly put his hand on her face and tilted it away. "Y-yeah, yeah! Whatever. Let's just go."

"I insist on one couch and arm chair," Roman hurried after the two walking further in. "We can't _just_ have bean bags!"

The group reconvened together soon enough though and they traveled through the couch sets, arguing on colors and looks —both Ruby and Adam wanted red, and Neo kept looking at strange designs. Roman wanted to keep it classy and Mercury just wanted something functional.

In the end, they all got what they wanted —Roman chose a red-stained leather Chesterfield couch and sacrificed his armchair for the size of it. Adam and Ruby got their color (which she high-fived him for, though missed his chagrined look), and Mercury thought it'd serve its purpose well and hopefully be easy to clean up. Neo was just pleased to have an unusual couch for their room.

As for bean bags, Ruby really did her best to get a whole bunch, but they argued her down to one single bean bag chair and one two-person bean bag chair.

"Don't forget the size of our room, Ruby!" Neo smirked, ruffling Ruby's hair. "We still have to get our bunk beds, silly."

Ruby pouted but conceded to that, only for Roman to declare (after seeing multiple versions) that "We should get hide-away beds! More space!"

She looked at him aghast. "But-but bunk beds!"

"Space," Roman pointed out with a raised eyebrow. "You have four adults who live with you, Red. We need space and —"

"Let's take over the room next door," Adam interrupted, causing all of them to stare at him. Ruby was confused though. What was he talking about? "It's empty and unoccupied. Let's tear down the wall and make ours bigger."

She blinked. But was that even allowed? How were they even going to do that?

Then the others all turned to stare at her, making her fidget.

"Well, Team Leader? What's the consensus?" Adam raised an eyebrow as well and she looked at her partner and then the group as a whole, all of whom were looking at her expectantly.

"Um, I guess?" she said, sounding more like a question.

"Fantastic! Neo, I saw the ones I wanted. Let's collect those. Brats," he looked to Mercury and Adam, "go get the trolleys. Red, you go get your bean bags."

Ruby squealed and ran off, her Semblance activating midway and leaving behind a torrent of rose petals.

* * *

When it was practically an hour and a half later, they were back in the dorms after spending most of the morning furniture shopping. Then they deconstructed the other beds and put those aside.

"We can reuse them for something else," Adam said carelessly, observing the wall instead.

Neo whipped out a sledgehammer. "Let's hurry and break it down!"

Ruby dropped her bean bags, staring at her with a dropped jaw.

"Wait, wait! What're you doing?!" she shrieked.

"Well, we have to break down the wall to get the two rooms together," Roman pointed out sarcastically. "That means the wall's got to go."

"But is this safe?" Ruby squeaked. "I thought we'd hire someone or-or —"

Adam lifted the sledgehammer from Neo and headed straight to the wall. "Nope, this is cheaper and we can handle it."

He slammed it straight into the poor wall, starting the destruction. He then turned to Ruby and smirked, holding out the sledgehammer.

"Well?"

Ruby looked from him to the sledgehammer, then to her other teammates. Neo gave a double thumbs up and Roman looked oddly eager, while Mercury gave her an encouraging look. She looked back to the sledgehammer and tentatively took it from Adam. She looked back at her team.

"For the bunk beds," Adam said solemnly.

Without further more prompting, she lifted it and slammed it into the wall.

"HELL YES TO CORRUPTION!" Neo threw her head back and laughed.

Roman smirked gleefully. " _Fantastic_. We've managed to get our Team Leader to participate in school property destruction."

Neo started pulling out more sledgehammers from a box and handing them out.

"Oh yeah! Let's tear this place up!" Mercury said enthusiastically and launched himself forward.

Ruby shrugged. This was her team after all. Might as well go all in?

Started 12/6/20 – Completed 12/7/20  
Started 11/21/20 – Completed 11/21/20 (team name scene)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I grow more and more amazed this thing has readership XD Seriously though, thank you all! Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays! Hopefully I can also update tomorrow for a second Christmas gift to you wonderful people!
> 
> Quick Points:
> 
> 1\. Ruby is surrounded by bad influences, y’all. Also, that means attend your schools! (Even ZOOM meetings!) Don’t listen to the likes of Roman and Mercury, peeps XD
> 
> 2\. You guys now know why the title is called “Team RAMEN!” Lol, that and you also find out their actual team name~
> 
> 3\. **If you’ve been ignoring it for the past couple of chapters: Friendly reminder of pairings! (Even if this is a humorous crack fic, mind the tags anyhow, with my usual readers knowing my preferences for age gap pairs).**


	4. Ours, Not Yours

"Ozpin!"

Ozpin sighed into his mug, leaning back in his chair and turning to face Glynda, who'd stomped into the room. She looked both crossed and worried, which put a frown on his own face.

"Oz, Ruby Rose nor," she made a pinched face here, "the rest of Team RMNTT has been in any of their classes. They've been absent and no word has been said of them or seen of them!"

Ozpin tensed, his hands tightening around his mug. He admitted to some worry creeping in —it was warranted since this wasn't exactly a completely stable group he'd put together.

"I'll look in on them," he promised her, standing up. "I'll try their dorm room first and then if I don't find them, I shall inform you and we'll gather up the others and discreetly form a search party."

As Glynda reluctantly agreed, Ozpin made his way out of his office to head to the dorm room assigned to Team RMNTT. His eyebrows scrunched together because loud whirring sounds and cursing was emitting from beyond the door. He hesitantly knocked and it was quickly answered by Neopolitan.

"Hello, Headmaster!" she said, her new voice simulator (he gave it a brief glance to not be overt, but he would definitely have to look into it). "We're just finishing up."

"Finishing…up?"

She giggled (rather insanely, in his opinion) and threw the door open, allowing him entrance into their…room.

He inhaled sharply and looked around.

To his utter shock, somehow Team RMNTT had managed to change the entire dorm room and made a setup like an apartment. In fact, their dorm room had become _two_ into _one_ , the wall that was separating the dorm room beside theirs completely gone…They'd even created a huge square in their ceiling he had no idea was for!

"Professor Ozpin! You're here!" Ruby sped his way, eagerly standing before him. "Do you like our room?"

Ozpin took another look around, observing the dark red-stained leather [Chesterfield couch](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/671951206875136208/) to the right of the room, the [bean](https://www.amazon.com/-/es/1655-Gran-Joe-Tela-Negro/dp/B079YYN2P5) [bags](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00P21T9W2?tag=aboutcom02thespruce-20&linkCode=ogi&th=1&ascsubtag=4173576%7Cne94bfeb5c89a4f32932142fbedd7d46318) placed near it, the beginnings of a personal _bar_ on that side, set up against the right wall. His eye twitched at the sight of a TV setup made in front of the couch, placed up against the wall opposite it and near against the door he'd entered through.

To his left…to his _absolute left_ , all the way to where the other dorm room was supposed to be, a set of [double bunk beds](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/819162619719660730/) made of wood was placed there, a half-spiral staircase leading to the top bunk attached to it. Placed next to the staircase, a large cabinet was put up against the wall, only for Neopolitan to happily pull down the [fold-down beds](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/200058408419787642/%20https://www.pinterest.com/pin/819162619719660800/) that were part of it and starting to fix bedding on them. Another cabinet, much larger than that one, was adjacent to those beds and placed up against the window. It would've hid said window if it wasn't another [hideaway bed](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/819162619719660831/), pulled down and bedding already placed on it.

Noting the bunk beds were probably Neopolitan and Ruby's, sized Twin beds, with the doubles being Full sized each, the largest one was probably Roman's at a Queen..

In the middle of the room was a stylized [wooden slab dining table](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/819162619719661235/) set vertically and in place of the wall that had obviously been demolished. There was another smaller [wooden cabinet](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/819162619719660816/) by the leather couch that was partially open and revealed…a secret hiding bed inside?

How many beds did they need?!

"It's…"

Ruby gave him a questioning look; the moment getting drawn out and the more she began to look worried, and therefore the more she nibbled on her lip (Ugh, that was too cute). The rest of her team by then had gone on to stare intensely at him, glares particularly noted on Mercury and Adam's faces. Roman even had the gall to mimic his throat being sliced as he narrowed his eyes at Ozpin, with Neopolitan actually giving him a "I'm disappointed in you" look.

Looking back at Ruby, whose eyes began to get teary as she shyly fidgeted, Ozpin softened and inwardly sighed.

"I'm sorry, Professor, if we did anything —"

"What innovative work, Miss Rose," he interrupted, smiling at her.

She looked at him in surprise, before bursting into a happy smile that pleased him. She sped forward, her Semblance half-activating, and grabbed his hand and led him away from the others.

"Let me show you upstairs too! We haven't finished, but I can show you our awesome stairs," she chattered, mood cheerful now that he'd expressed his approval.

To his surprise and apprehension, she went to the other side of the room where the door to the ex-dorm room was, and he saw a slab of wood against the wall and a metal railing above it. There were rounded off rectangles carved into that, as Ruby revealed once she pulled the strap attached to it downwards, revealing [steps](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/819162619719660875/) that led to 'upstairs', through the hole he'd noted earlier.

Dear Oum, they really did create their own apartment!

Ruby took his hand again and went up the surprisingly sturdy stairs. He looked around and was relieved they'd only commandeered one room above. They'd made a second landing above the floor, creating a space where a [large bookshelf](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/819162619719660773/) was moved to be against the wall and a bunch of throw pillows on the floor opposite it. The raised floor platform was so high that underneath it, haphazardly opened were several drawers connected on the right and a huge drawer that showed a mattress on the left. Another bed?!

"It's very…" He cleared his throat. "Homely."

Ruby gave him a bright smile however and he supposed this wasn't exactly life-threatening.

"I was thinking we could use this place to study and work on homework and stuff," Ruby continued to easily chatter to him. She scrunched up her nose though, with Ozpin letting himself idly note it as another cute habit from her. "Eh, if we actually get to class! Roman says they're all too old to be in classes, but don't you worry, Professor Ozpin! I'll get them to class sooner or later."

He smiled gently at her and ruffled her hair. "I'll count on you then."

"FUCKING IKEA!"

"How do you put this shit together?!"

"Ruuuuby! We need your help for this!"

She gave him a sheepish glance. "Ah, well, looks like it's back to renovating."

Ozpin didn't envy her at all.

"FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!"

* * *

Yang was freaking worried. It was the first day of school and Ruby had been nowhere to be found. She hadn't even seen her since the Team Placement Ceremony and that had been completely insane!

First off, only she, Weiss and Blake form a team, a trio that would not only be together but also work as support for others. Second, her sister didn't get put on a team then at all! What was _that_ about? She knew she had partnered with someone, but she was confused who —both that red-headed Faunus and that gray-haired older teen had haunted Ruby's steps, so she wasn't quite sure which one was her partner.

And then after the ceremony, that trio disappeared and Yang hadn't seen Ruby since!

"Relax," Blake told her calmly, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Weiss snorted from their side and Yang glowered at her. Of course she'd be like this. She'd been like this the entire time, since initiation. No one, actually, had managed to meet her eyes and end up partnering up with her. Even worse, the whole first day, she acted completely snobby and like she had an icicle shoved up her ass, feeling like she should've been named Team Leader.

Well, Blake was a great Team Leader! Her partner was calm, collected and pretty smart. She wasn't even annoyed or complaining about Weiss' attitude and disrespect! If it was Yang, she'd already be fired up and screaming at the other girl, which she had felt tempted to do so several times that day already.

"I can't relax," Yang muttered, focusing in on her original worries and ignoring the Schnee. "My sister is MIA and I've no word from her. I only know she must be partnered with this red-head Faunus or this gray-haired guy, because both were around her during the ceremony. The gray-haired guy I know I think I saw her briefly talking with on the airship coming into Beacon, but no clue of the red-head."

Blake paused, even as Weiss scrunched up her nose disdainfully while Yang was talking.

"Red-head…Faunus? He wouldn't happen to have horns on his head, would he? Like a bull?"

Yang blinked. "Yeah! I think so."

"Ah, that's probably Adam. He's a…friend from before here. We…kind of worked together," Blake told her.

That made her feel relieved. At least he wasn't a complete unknown. And if Blake knew him, then he must be okay.

"If you're so worried about her, why don't you check her dorm room? If she has a team and was actually accepted into Beacon early, she should've been assigned a room with her teammates," Weiss sneered at them. "Even if you don't know her room, we all should be in the same wing —just knock on a few doors and see if she's in one of the rooms."

Yang narrowed her eyes at the other, but she hated that the other made sense.

"She _was_ accepted," Yang grumbled but decided not to talk to the other anymore, heading out of their own dorm room. She headed to the door across from them and knocked, with Pyrrha opening it and looking puzzled at her.

"Yang, is something the matter?"

Yang shook her head, aware that her own teammates were following behind her. "Sorry, I'm just checking around to look for my sister, hoping she's in one of these rooms. I haven't seen her since yesterday, at the Team Placement Ceremony."

"Oh! Would you like help?" Pyrrha, ever the helpful one.

Jaune looked up behind her, blond hair swaying wildly at his action. "Ruby hasn't been seen? I'll help look! She was really nice to me when we first got here and was my first friend. I wouldn't mind catching up."

"Count us in!" Nora cheered behind the two, with Ren behind her silently agreeing.

Yang grinned at them. "Great! Thanks, guys!"

With a larger group, they went to look for Ruby. They didn't even need to get too far though —two of the group tried the next two doors beside Yang's dorm room and both were opened at the same time, with the ones opening it saying "I've got this door!"

Confused, she saw the red-headed Faunus at the door farther away and the one closest to the group was opened by the gray-haired older teen. Both males glared at each other, before the red-head huffed.

"Most of them are on your side, so they can enter through there, Black."

"Whatever, Taurus," he rolled his eyes and opened the door more, letting them in through, while Nora (who had been the one to knock on the other door) was let in with 'Taurus'.

And then Yang was inside and her eyes bugged out.

"The hell?!"

She thought she said that, but to her amusement and shock, it was the Ice Princess instead. Weiss' jaw dropped, but for once, she didn't blame her.

There was a reason both guys had opened the doors, considering apparently the group inside had commandeered both dorm rooms to create one huge room for themselves.

The bunks beds! The three hideaway beds all clear out in the open! The freaking living room setup with a personal side bar to the side, and a milkshake machine obviously installed alongside a full refrigerator and microwave. Was that…was that an [espresso machine](https://www.nespresso.com/us/en/order/machines/vertuo/vertuo-plus-cherry-red)?!

And to further shove shock into their systems, apparently they were setting up a TV (that 'Adam', as she recalled Blake calling him, was in the midst of finishing up and then there was _video_ and they had cable going on!).

"Yang!" she dimly heard Ruby through her shock. Then, realizing it was her sister, she snapped to and focused on her, only to barely be ready to catch her shorter sister as she ran towards her and jumped, hugging her tightly. "You're here!"

"What's…what's going on?" Yang asked, completely and utterly confused.

She recognized Ruby's two potential partners, but not the two toned-haired girl or the older man in the room, who was by on the Queen-sized bed by the window and _smoking_ out of it.

Ruby laughed. "It's a really long, crazy story…" But she dragged her sister over to the 'living room', where she plopped herself on the larger of the two bean bags and made Yang sit on it with her. Blake and Weiss took to the leather couch. The rest of Team JNPR sat around them, either on the couch or on the floor.

"See?" Ruby directed to the others in the room that she knew (but Yang totally, totally did not and this ruffled her protective sisterly instincts). "I told you guys we needed more bean bags for people!"

"Next time, Red," the older man drawled, taking a deep drag of his cigar and then exhaling it out the window.

Ruby quietly huffed but then turned to Yang excitedly. "Introduce me to your team, Yang!"

Yang cleared her throat, trying to steady herself. She pointed to Blake. "This is Blake Belladonna, my partner and the Team Leader." Then she jabbed her thumb over in Weiss' direction. "That's Weiss Schnee, last member of Team WBY. We're just a trio, though I guess it's for now? Don't know how's it going to work."

Then she waved a hand towards the others. "That's Pyrrha Nikos, but you know her," but Ruby still smiled at the red-headed girl, who gave a kind smile back. "Then there's Jaune, who you know. The other two are Lie Ren and Nora Valkyrie; those four are Team JNPR."

"Awesome! Nice to meet you guys," Ruby said sincerely, wiggling on the bean bag excitedly. "I'll introduce my team too —we're supposed to be a 'special case', hence why there's five of us and our name is so weird —we're Team RMNTT, er Team Ramen," Ruby corrected after a look from the other girl on her team and to their confusion. "I'm Ruby, Yang's sister," she told the others, teasingly jabbing her elbow into Yang's side.

That drew a smile out of her and made her start to relax a little.

"That's Adam and Mercury," she pointed first to the Faunus and then to the gray-haired older teen, making Yang glad she had confirmation on the male red-head and a name finally for the other. "They're both my partners," Ruby then dropped a bomb on them.

"Wait, what?" Jaune asked for them. "How's that?"

"They both made eye contact with me at the same time in the forest," Ruby said without blinking, while Adam grunted and continued sharpening his blade (having finished with the TV) while Mercury snorted. Wait a second —

"Why do you have your weapons?" Weiss was the one to ask, looking completely outraged.

The older man of the group snorted then as well. "Listen, Frosty, I'm a criminal and don't care —"

" _Former_ criminal," Ruby interjected, even as everyone around her was horrified. "You're reforming!"

"A criminal who doesn't give a shit," he drawled, continuing on as if Ruby hadn't interrupted. Then he pointed to the multi-colored girl near him. "She's my accomplice and doesn't care either," he said, even as the girl playfully played with her umbrella, revealing sharp blades that was part of it. The older man pointed his cane over to the other two guys of the group. "Those two are just indifferent assholes."

Adam hnned while Mercury shrugged.

Ruby made an exasperated sound. "Anyway, that's Roman Torchwick, that thief I told you I caught and stopped from robbing that Dust store the other day. Neopolitan is his partner; she prefers Neo."

Neo wiggled her fingers at them.

" _Why_ are you _in_ this group?" Weiss asked and Yang for once agreed with her.

Ruby laughed, looking like this situation wasn't bothering her at all. "Meh, it's not bad. Roman's a tough nut to crack, but he's not really a bad guy —" Which was accompanied by a face palm by said man, who muttered "Dear Oum, you really are too kind for this world, Red!"

But Ruby went on. "Neo is pretty cool too —Honestly, I'm not sure why Professor Ozpin put us together, but he said something like since I stopped him and put him away, that I should be the one to watch over Roman. Neo comes with him, so that's how I got them on my team. As for these two, like I said, we got partnered up during initiation."

"And again, poor Red has to put up with us and be the Team Leader of a team of a bunch of assholes," Roman snickered.

"Now, now, Roman, don't be too hard on you all," Ruby frowned at him. "You guys aren't that bad!"

And to prove their point and prove Ruby wrong, the rest of the other teams watched as Adam slowly, threateningly drew his blade and pretended to examine it, clearly watching them, while Mercury pretended to carelessly crack his knuckles and watch them with a blank look. Neo's bladed umbrella was being twirled around, while the girl creepily stared at them, with Roman continuing to puff on his cigar and watch the group with a raised eyebrow and an annoyed look.

Ruby, obliviously, noticed nothing.

Holy shit, what did Yang's sister get herself into?!

"I'm glad you're getting along so well, Adam," Blake actually decided to speak up and Yang wanted to hurriedly shush her, wanting to kidnap her sister from this insane group and make a quick getaway with everyone out of there. "I was worried for a bit that you would be uncomfortable here and snap at people easily."

Adam scowled at Blake, but Ruby squealed. "Adam, you know Yang's partner?! I didn't know you two knew each other!"

Blake smiled at her. "We were…friends. Came here together actually. Worked together before."

Adam said flatly, "We were…part of a group…with similar interests."

"Oooh! Like what?"

"I like to make masks," he said abruptly, looking uncomfortable. "Scary ones. Like ones that look like Grimm."

"Amazing!" Ruby's eyes were practically glittering. Yang agreed; what a cool hobby. "You'll have to show me one!"

"Yeah," he faltered. "Maybe…later."

Then Neo came over and grabbed Ruby from behind, picking her up and carrying her over to what was obviously Roman's bed. She sat beside Roman's legs, since he was sitting on the windowsill, and kept holding onto Ruby. That led to Roman idly petting Ruby's hair, while Mercury traveled over and plopped down in front of Neo and Ruby, using Neo's legs as a cushion so he could grab onto Ruby's legs and hold them to him. Adam was the last to move over, sitting to Ruby's other side and purposely putting an arm around her shoulders, even as he reticently looked away and looked like he was in a bad mood. Ruby just blinked at all this.

The message was still clear though. Yang narrowed her eyes at these possessive bastards.

Ruby was _her_ sister, thank you very much!

* * *

Weiss was fuming after they were all but unceremoniously kicked out of the apartment (because it was an apartment, _not_ a dorm room, thank you!). She didn't know what was worse —that she was frustrated about the whole day and how it had gone, that she wasn't Team Leader, or that she was stuck in a trio of a team and also that she felt like the third wheel!

It wasn't fair —she should've gotten a partner. In fact, it sounded like Yang's younger sister should've been _her_ partner! Excluding those _criminals_ , aside from that Mercury guy obviously being a smug jerk, that Adam was not only a careless ass but a Faunus (and she held no love for them, after everything they've done to her and her family). Which left Ruby being the one that was left and should've been who Weiss had partnered up with to finish up and complete this team she was stuck on.

Ruby's team already had five members —if they took one out, preferably Ruby, and stuck her onto Weiss' team, then it evened everything out! Their team had four and Weiss' team would end up with a complete four, like the teams were supposed to be like.

And bunk beds! She could bet Ruby was the one who came up with that —she'd always wanted bunk beds when she was younger. And now the younger girl had to share those with that crazy, multi-colored heathen! Weiss wouldn't have minded sharing those bunk beds with Ruby instead…

This was _so_ not over. Not if Weiss had anything to say about it! And if she had to take it straight to the top…

* * *

While they were all getting ready for bed and turning in, Ruby hid in her little closet bed that the group had teasingly made for her. She closed the closet doors after herself and sat crossleggedly on the bed, turning on the light above so she could focus on her Scroll.

_R: Hey, James! Wanted to catch you up before I go to sleep. How're you?_

She waited to see if he would respond and after a minute of nothing, she was about to give up and climb out of her hiding spot. That was when she saw that James was typing.

_J: Hold on a second._

She did, feeling curious. But then James was typing again and she waited for his response.

_J: Sorry, I was just finishing up here. I've been well. I take it you had a good day?_

_R: Hm, I guess? It was very productive. We didn't really get to go to class —Merc says they were teaching me hooky and I still don't know what that means —but we remade our dorm room!_

_J: …Hooky is where you skip class, which is what you mean by your team not going to class…And remade your dorm room? How is that?_

_R: Ah, we just made some renovations, tried to make it our own?_

_J: Sounds good —That will be your team's space for four years, better to keep it comfortable and to your tastes! I'm glad also that it seems your team situation was sorted out —I hope you will have a good time there with your team. I also wish you luck at your studies! Don't let your teammates make you play 'hooky' too much. As much as I know you can do well regardless of attendance, with your smarts, you still should do well to attend!_

_R: I promise! I'm def gonna drag them to class with me, even if they say they're too old for class._

_J: …Too old?_

_R: Mmhm! Neo's 18, Merc's 19, Adam's 23, and Roman's 27. I guess I'm the youngest? Which is weird cuz I'm Team Leader._

_J: You'll still do well. Still…it's a bit…worrying? Are you okay with such an older group?_

_R: <3 No worries! I'm good!_

_J: Rant at me when you need. I can commiserate dealing with annoying individuals and old farts._

_R: :) Night!_

_J: Night, Ruby._

Started 12/7/20 – Completed 12/8/20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ack! I did try to get this out on Christmas, and failing that, for New Year’s….But things got a little hectic and busy. Hope everyone’s holidays were a blast though! I hope everyone enjoys this chapter and the wackiness~
> 
> Quick Points:
> 
> 1\. If you’re curious, my Ao3 version of this fic has links to their furniture. And yes –they very much made their own bachelor/bachelorette pad XD As Weiss said –that is so not a dorm room and is definitely a freaking apartment XD
> 
> 2\. I’m not longer on break and am back to work, so might not be as prolific in writing and updating as I hope to be…But I appreciate everyone’s patience and support!
> 
> 3\. **The R &J Exchange**: is how the whole Ruby/Romeo and James/Juliet thing started and details their penpal friendship. It can be read stand alone and you don’t need to read this to read that, or vice versa!


	5. Bully Pit

_R: Juliet! Juliet! Wherefore thou art, Juliet?  
_ _J: It's too fucking early in the morning, Romeo.  
_ _R:…No coffee yet?  
_ _J: No.  
_ _R: :) Go get some coffee in you, James._

  
Ozpin took a deep sip of his mug, enjoying his hot drink as he rested in peace. Breakfast had come and gone for him, and he was starting in on his day's work —only for his peace to be broken by the rapid knocking on his door. Blinking at it, he reluctantly let them in. To his surprise, Weiss Schnee strode in determinedly.

"Miss Schnee, is there something I can —"

"Sir! Why is Ruby Rose in that team? They're all a bunch of ruffians!" she said immediately, wasting no time as she got heated up. "I'm a much better partner for her and it would even out the teams if she was placed with Team WBY! It would even finish off our _name_! RWBY makes much more sense and would fully form _ruby_ , as a color! Currently, we're like…an _unrealized_ color! WBY is like a wannabe color!"

Ozpin hesitantly opened his mouth, only to be cut off by Weiss' continued ranting.

"And her team are all crazy! Did you know they don't keep their weapons in their lockers? They keep them with them! And _have you seen their dorm room_?"

He inwardly sighed. This was shaping up to be a long morning.

Taking a long sip out of his mug, Ozpin was sure his eyes had glazed over while she kept talking. Instead, his mind ran over some of things she had mentioned.

Team RMNTT had certainly turned out to be wild cards, even with Ruby at the helm. The criminal part of the group were hectic and rather getting to be bad influences on Ruby, though thankfully (and amazingly) she was handling them well enough and curbing their influences somehow. Even better, _she_ was influencing them positively in some ways as well.

The weapons thing though, he'd just found out about, courtesy of Miss Schnee right now —he had no idea how that group of hellions had gotten hold of their weapons, especially after he'd personally seen to them storing them into their individual lockers.

And yes, Weiss was rather correct over his experimental team's 'apartment' —Goodness, he'd been shocked and out of his body for a moment when he'd first came there as well. It had only been on Ruby's behalf that he'd snapped out of it and stopped thinking of the madness of it all, and was able to even compliment the (freakishly) amazing work they'd done.

As for this whole 'color naming' thing —what rubbish. Aside from the fact his own name didn't adhere to the rule (and yet no one noticed or commented on it?), it had all started when he'd long ago —in a previous incarnation —threw out that silly rule on a whim to the masses because he was _bored_ and thought it'd be _amusing_. He still, to this day, did not know how it was still holding up or how on Remnant he'd convinced people that it was a good idea in the first place and to actually follow through with.

He shook his head and zoned back in, clearing his throat and interrupted said Schnee heiress, still ranting about the unfairness of it all.

"Now, Miss Schnee, I'll take your grievances into consideration, but I'm quite busy. I'll get back to you on this. Maybe," he muttered that last, though he probably had no intention of going through that. He shuffled her out and then returned to his desk, rubbing his temples agitatedly.

"To business," he told himself, deciding to focus on that. Maybe he'll stress bake later. Huffing under his breath, he reached for his phone and long distance called James, hoping he'd have some time and answers for Ozpin's inquiries about the voice modulator around his new 'mute' student's neck.

"Hello?" James answered, his hologram appearing. "Ozpin, good morning!"

Oh, what a cheery attitude the other was sporting! While he couldn't say that James was unfriendly or standoffish, he was definitely not one to look or be so cheerful and lighthearted.

"Good morning, James," he smiled at the other. "Well, it _was_ a bit of a morning here for a bit," he mused, thinking back to the visit he'd just had with a certain riled up student. "But never mind that. I'd actually wanted to know if you might have had any news regarding voice modulators," he prodded, not specifically asking about stolen goods or prying about any recent security risks.

James blinked. "Any reason why?"

Ozpin twitched. "A new student has come in that is mute. Just looking into options."

"Hmm, well, we have plenty of voice modulators for her to choose from here and I could definitely discount the pricing for you," James thought aloud. "They're expensive but I can whittle it down to practically nothing for you."

Ozpin gave a grateful smile, though inwardly a bit frustrated at not getting the answers to what he really wanted to know about.

"Thank you, James. I'll discuss it with you again later."

Even after James hung up on him, Ozpin sighed and sat in his chair in thought —If James wasn't concerned and hadn't immediately said anything about problems surrounding any such voice modulators…

How and where did Neopolitan and Roman come across one and so quickly?

* * *

Team RMNTT had trekked towards the dining hall, Ruby happily copying Neo by piggybacking on Adam's back while the other girl just hung around an annoyed Roman's neck. Adam's face was blank and she was pretty sure he was exasperated, but his arms had wound back around her legs and secured her to him.

"Why leave our apartment?" Roman groused. "We could have whipped something up or ordered Vale To-Go."

Ruby gave him an amused look. "We can't be hermits, Roman. Plus, we _are_ going to class today! We must! _I_ at least need to graduate," she pouted, which made Neo coo and lean over to pinch one of her cheeks.

Ruby squeaked and tugged Adam away, and he grumbled as he went sideways.

"Oh, look! My sister's team and her friends are sitting at a table. Let's join them," Ruby said enthusiastically, missing her team's displeasure.

They walked over, with Yang spotting them and eagerly waving them over to the group. They made sure to sit a distance away, but to Ruby's amusement and their mortification, the others just moved over to be closer.

"How're things?" Yang asked Ruby.

"Great! We're going to go to class, now that our dorm room is finished. We spent practically the whole time yesterday focused on that," Ruby told her.

She heard the light-colored girl she knew to be Weiss, from what James had inferred and Yang had introduced her as, snort and eye twitch. Ruby wondered if her allergies were bothering her?

"Yay," Mercury deadpanned.

Neo made a face, moving around her food on her plate unenthusiastically. Adam, for some reason, tossed a disgruntled look over to Blake as Roman took out a cigar and was about to light it. Ruby neatly plucked it from his fingers and pocketed it.

"Red!" he said scandalized.

"Dining hall," she told him reprimandingly. "Besides! Who wants to eat while smelling that?"

"I do," Roman grumbled, stabbing a sausage violently and then shoving it into his mouth.

Neo patted Ruby's hand. "He's not a morning person," she told her, winking over at Roman's glare. Ruby glanced uncertainly between them.

"What class is first?" Ruby asked excitedly, having not known since she'd missed everything yesterday on account of her team playing 'hooky'.

"Different schedule, same classes," Yang waved a hand airily.

Ruby wasn't even sure what the schedule was since Roman had taken it and ripped it to pieces the day before, right before they went off to buy furniture.

"History with Professor Oobleck," Blake took pity on the youngest there. "Though he prefers Doctor."

"So it's _Dr._ Oobleck," the rest of Team RMNTT said, almost in unison. Ruby looked at them in confusion, while the two other teams also looked either confused or weirded out or both.

Roman frowned disapprovingly at them, further weirding them out. "'You earn your 'wares,'" he said nonchalantly. "You take all the time and work for years for that degree, you damn well better insist on that title."

"Mm," Adam gave them a judgmental look, before turning to Ruby after briefly giving Blake a look. "When you've managed to work hard and spend years on your education like that, you earn the right to insist on that title. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"Pfft…I mean, most of us can't even be in school for one day!" Neo cackled. "Being in school for _years_? Respect."

Ruby nodded in understanding, agreeing with that, while the rest of the other teams were still uncertain about this group.

Mercury tapped on the table thoughtfully. "If it was me, I'd want to be addressed as Doctor too —sounds very professional and respectable."

"It implies work ethic and the hard years put into it," Adam said firmly. "I would've want to have a full education and earn myself _at least_ one degree."

That was Ruby's opening and she leaned into his space, looking at him eagerly (unknowing that to him, she had her puppy dog eyes out in full force).

"So that means you'll be attending class with me from now on?"

Adam stilled and stared back at her, and she waited for him, not knowing he was freezing up. The other members of their team were looking on in amusement, while Team WBY (except a mentally giggling Blake) and Team JNPR were curiously watching, not sure what was going on either.

"I…suppose," Adam's face twitched.

Ruby cheered, pumping a fist into the air.

* * *

Dr. Oobleck's class was something else, Neo mused to herself, watching at the corner of her eyes as Roman tried to look for another cigar on himself. She'd already stolen them all though —Ruby didn't like him smoking in school, aside from their room, where he could smoke outside his window all he wanted. Not that it stopped Roman from trying to smoke wherever.

Mercury and Adam were back to glaring at each other though —she guessed they didn't like each other, but those idiots should try to get along, since they were Ruby's partners.

As for their Team Leader…

Somehow, as Dr. Oobleck taught, she'd managed to convince their professor to hold onto her and zoom around the classroom. She was apparently having the time of her life though, so Neo was pleased that the team was wearing her down and getting her to learn to do what she wanted.

Because Team Ramen's motto should definitely be "We Do What We Want".

Smirking to herself, she fished out a cigar and placed it between her lips, not lighting it but leaning back in her seat and placing her feet on the table, going to take a nap.

She ignored Roman's affronted look.

* * *

Professor Port's class was boring as hell. Why were they there again? Why study Grimm? Just slash them to bits and destroy them! Adam certainly didn't need to know anything about them to kill them.

Ruby looked bored too, but was studiously making notes —he kept in a snort as he saw the paper of a cartoon-drawn version of Professor Port hidden to her left and closer to him, worked on while she was idle in her note-taking.

Smirking, he took his pencil and leaned over, beginning to draw on her paper. He saw her discreetly look down on him and at the paper, and her take a deep breath to stop herself from laughing.

Adam had drawn several Grimm around the Professor Port cartoon, however they looked all cute and puppyish and had a telling cape around their necks (despite being drawn in graphite). Ruby ended up giving him another one of her signature pouts, but she let out a near silent giggle that almost was heard by the girl on her right —that Schnee brat he had taken to ignore (else he'd go psychopathic on her).

"And now another demonstration! Yesterday, a well shown defense against a Boarbatusk was given by Miss Schnee," though Adam heard someone cough and mutter "It was lame" behind him, leading him to see Schnee turn red and look indignant. "Who else wants to show they have the makings of a Hunter or Huntress?"

Ruby looked super excited, though she wasn't raising her hand. Probably wanted to see someone in action.

Feeling a strange desire to impress her and also show up that Schnee's performance, Adam found himself raising his own hand.

"Excellent! Mr. Taurus, please come on down!"

Adam's smirk turned practically vicious.

* * *

Blake didn't know if she was horrified or entertained, but she certainly hadn't expected her former partner to be acting like this or to have decided to volunteer for such a thing as a demonstration for _class_. However, the absolutely bloodthirsty expression on his face alarmed her and she was tempted to interrupt this whole thing somehow.

"Whoo, yeah! Go, Adam!" Ruby cheered loudly and Blake flinched.

_No, no, no, Ruby! Don't encourage him!_

But the encouragement of his Team Leader made Adam seem to almost grin sadistically by now.

"Go ahead, Professor Port! _Let's release the beast!_ "

Adam's eyes were lighting up red and she had the urge to hide her face in her hands and duck down under the desk. Instead, she watched like a slow motion wreck as Professor Port opened the cage and another Boarbatusk was released from it.

But, instead of the slow, rough and tumble of Weiss' confrontation with the Grimm, instead Adam laughed manically and immediately drew his katana, blade starting to glow red.

"Now GET OUT OF MY WAY, PROFESSOR!" Adam roared and released an attack that not only decimated the Boarbatusk, but blew apart the classroom from the left side.

The class was absolutely silent, Professor Port was staring at the beyond damaged part of his classroom (face blackened with smoke and hair puffing all over the place), and Adam was still laughing crazily.

Then Ruby laughed loudly in delight, clapping her hands.

"That was so freaking _cool_!" She zoomed over to Adam and began gushing over Blush and Wilt and his attack, and Adam (the bastard) preened at the praise and excitement from his Team Leader.

Maybe Blake should've left him behind after all.

* * *

Mercury was a little miffed —Taurus, the jerk, managed to impress Ruby and gain her adoration quickly enough. He didn't have any fancy blades, but he _did_ have his legs —he was a vicious fighter, especially when you count in his kicks, and he was pretty damn sure that he could do enough to impress Ruby himself.

The last class of the day being Goodwitch's Combat Class, he and his team sat down together (though they managed to sit far from Teams WBY and JNPR, who had become persistent in sitting near them). Enclosing in on Ruby, with he and Taurus on either side of her, Neo sitting in front, and Torchwick behind her, Ruby was boxed in and thankfully kept all to themselves.

"Today, we will be learning to fight against multiple opponents when we are outnumbered. We'll start with practicals and then afterwards have discussions. This will be especially useful for the upcoming Vytal Tournament this year. Any volunteers?"

Jaune's hand shot up and he looked determined. Mercury shook his head in pity, knowing the kid was nowhere near proficient or skilled enough to belong in Beacon. He was going to get his ass kicked.

"A team to volunteer to fight against Mr. Arc?" Goodwitch's eyes swept across the class.

Mercury could see Ruby lightly swipe at Roman, who had been about to raise his hand. He wouldn't be bored if they'd gone up, but Mercury could get it'd be a bloodbath if their team got involved. Plus, they all knew Ruby was fond of the blond idiot, so they should know better than to pick (too much) on him.

Then Cardin Winchester raised his hand and looked too smug to make this anything but good.

And Mercury was right, wincing at the slaughter that was happening as Team CRDL beat the shit out of Jaune, who just kept coming back for more like a masochist.

Just before Jaune was going to be knocked out, Goodwitch called the match. He could see Ruby, unlike herself, looking incredibly furious and silver eyes glinting like steel.

Mercury smirked and raised his hand, calling attention to himself.

"Yes, Mr. Black?" he saw Goodwitch purse her lips, even as she reluctantly called on him.

"I'd like to volunteer myself to go up against Team CRDL next," he said cheerfully.

Even though she narrowed her eyes at him, she relented and allowed it, especially as the other boys were eager to fight and was agreeing to the duel (looking way too confident). As he passed by Ruby to get down to the stage, he looked to her and gave her a wink, watching her blink and look astonished before smiling back at him.

Then Mercury was on stage and smiled 'kindly' at his opponents. "Ready, guys?"

He was not ashamed to say that he went after them viciously after a quick wave to Ruby, most certainly using his prosthetic legs to his advantage.

And so Beacon was introduced to Mercury's legendary kicks.

* * *

"They're a bunch of nuisances!" Glynda snapped at Ozpin, the day ending in a conference with the teachers. "Mr. Black completely obliterated his opponents! Team CRDL will have to stay overnight in the hospital wing!"

"Could be worse," Ozpin mused aloud. "With Mr. Black's talents, he could've landed them there for well over a week…"

"That's not the point!" Glynda glared at him. "The point is that Team RMNTT are not fit to be here and be a team."

"Mr. Taurus destroyed my classroom," Peter said dazedly, still in shock.

Glynda looked to Bart, who shrugged. "I have no specific complaints. I enjoyed teaching while speeding around with Miss Rose in class."

The rest of them gave him strange looks, confusion included. He coughed.

"Apparently Miss Rose likes high speeds and requested I 'speed' around with her during the lesson. It was actually challenging!"

Peter shook his head to clear it and added on. "Actually, though it was a shock and I'm dismayed at the state of my classroom, I was very impressed with the speed of Mr. Taurus' reflexes and attack. And the power! My goodness, very impressive."

Ozpin tossed a flustered Glynda a very smug look, making her glare grow darker at him.

"They sound well adjusted to me, Glynda."

He chuckled to himself as Glynda let out an uncharacteristic, anguished scream.

* * *

During dinner that night, the three teams were grouped together again, much to most of Team RMNTT's consternation. Despite trying to isolate themselves, Ruby and Teams WBY and JNPR kept hindering that and mixing together.

Since their team was craving breakfast for dinner, Neo stole all of the available strawberries and had given them to Ruby, feeding her and sneaking one for herself every once and a while. Mercury had a huge stack of pancakes and had slathered syrup all over it and Adam (the bloody animal) was calmly having a normal plate of sausages, eggs, and bacon. Roman was just enjoying some quality food for once. Despite being a school, Beacon had an impressive spread of food for its meals every day.

"You need to grow a backbone, Jaune!" Yang declared loudly, Ruby's sister slapping the kid's back heartily. "You get picked on by Cardin all the time! It's time you stand up to him!"

"Bullying?" Jaune said weakly. "I-I'm not being bullied…"

Roman stopped moving the fork closer to his mouth, turning to stare at the blond idiot in disbelief. Around him, his team members were equally in disbelief, Adam snorting while Mercury choked on his food. His longtime companion dropped the strawberry she'd been feeding Ruby, who (for once) was looking at Jaune like the idiot he was (not full of fondness for her human puppy, thank Oum).

"Seriously?" Mercury spoke up, sneering. "You need your eyes checked then."

Adam eyed Jaune. "We must not be seeing the same things."

Jaune's face flushed red, but Roman had no pity. Delusion could only go so far and if he wanted to pretend it all away, all the power to Jaune —as long as Team RMNTT was free to do what they wanted and were fine on their own, who cares about the lot of them?

"You have to stand up for yourself!" Yang ranted. "Being bullied is a serious thing! When Ruby was being bullied at Signal, I wouldn't stand for it either —!"

"Yang!" Ruby interrupted in embarrassment, but Roman had already tuned back into the conversation, scowling. He also knew the rest of their team had caught on and were now listening intently.

"Nuh uh, Ruby," Yang narrowed her lilac eyes at her younger sister. "They treated you like shit, especially the upper years, because you were young, short, and especially _smart_."

Ruby was the one flushing red now, frowning at Yang. "It doesn't matter now anyway! I'm at Beacon and —"

She cut herself short, looking elsewhere. Roman looked to see where and frowned himself. He wasn't fond of Faunus either, but that Cardin dumbass was doing too much, pulling on that poor girl's rabbit ears. He idly glanced over at Adam, knowing the Bull Faunus would be infuriated and likely to murder the idiotic bully.

Indeed, Adam's eyes were full of rage and he'd stood up, ready to stomp over. Except…he was beaten by Ruby, who'd sped over without even using her Semblance. She'd slapped Cardin's hands away from the Rabbit Faunus' ears, only to be faced with Cardin himself.

"Aww, want some attention? I can spare you some," Cardin smirked, leering at Ruby, and Roman gripped his cane tightly, already moving to aim from this distance.

Only Ruby just stared back at Cardin before glancing at the entrance, and then surprisingly ripping her corset top a little (but obviously) and then screaming bloody murder.

"You JERK!" she screamed out. "It HURTS! IT HURTS!" she wailed out. " _WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!_ "

Alarmed, the rest of Team RMNTT were going to rush over when they were surprised to find Goodwitch furiously striding over, moving to Ruby and fiercely examining her.

"What's going on here?" she snapped at a bewildered Cardin and a shocked Velvet Scarlatina, the Rabbit Faunus looking totally lost.

Ruby sniffled and kept crying, adorably rubbing at her eyes and cheeks. "Cardin was bullying us! He kept pulling on poor Velvet's ears and then he pushed me and grabbed my front! He even said he'd spare me some of his 'attention'!" Ruby sobbed out, burying her face into her hands.

Cardin's jaw dropped and Velvet's face had to hide her newfound grin. The teams Ruby had left behind, especially her own, were left to wallow in their own shock.

"The hell just happened…" he heard Mercury mutter.

Roman totally fucking agreed.

In the meantime, Goodwitch's green eyes flashed and turned darkly to Cardin, pulling Ruby to her protectively.

"Mr. Winchester! Bullying is _unacceptable_! Here at Beacon, we have a much higher standard that does not abide any sort of discrimination and intolerance! You _will_ apologize to both Miss Rose and Miss Scarlatina, both of whom are excellent examples of Beacon's finest and who you should emulate!

"Miss Scarlatina is a fine second year student, who you must respect as your senior, while Miss Rose has had an impeccable and impressive history that allowed her to enter Beacon much earlier than she should've! And don't think I forgot about the implied sexual harassment, Mr. Winchester," Goodwitch leaned in dangerously, glowering at the speechless, wide-eyed bully. "You will be reporting to Professor Ozpin's office in half an hour. Eat quickly and reach there on time, Mr. Winchester."

Goodwitch straightened up and took a look at Velvet's ears, which had already stopped feeling any pain while through Ruby's act and was then feeling back to normal through Goodwitch's lecture. Then the professor checked on Ruby, who was still quietly crying and whimpering, clutching onto her ripped front.

"Oh dear," Goodwitch muttered, gently rubbing Ruby's head and taking off her own purple cape. "Here, use this as a shawl under your cloak to hide that until you can change clothes."

"Thanks, Professor Goodwitch," Ruby hiccuped, rubbing at her eyes.

Goodwitch's eyes softened and she patted her shoulder before looking to Velvet. "Please take Miss Rose back to her team."

Then she gave one last warning glance at Cardin and then left the Dining Hall. To everyone's amazement, Ruby stopped crying immediately and looked at Cardin cheerfully.

"You heard Professor Goodwitch!" she chirped up. "Play nice!" Then her face took on a dark look. "Or else."

Then she was all smiles as she grabbed Velvet's hand and skipped back to her table.

"Hi, guys! This is Velvet! Adam, Adam, she's a Faunus like you," she gushed to the red-head. "But she's a Rabbit Faunus, not a Bull one like you. And it's Rabbit! Not Bunny! Even though her ears are cute~"

Ruby looked longingly at Velvet's ears, causing the older girl to smile and relent, leaning down a bit. Ruby squealed and lightly touched them reverently.

"The fuck just happened?" Mercury muttered again.

Roman's jaw was still gaping. "And _we're_ the ones who are dangerous? Hell to the no —Red's the one who is, that-that wolf in sheep's clothing!"

"Who says we're the ones corrupting her? I don't think she needs any corrupting," Neo giggled. "Geez, Roman, who knew we had such a menacing, vicious leader underneath all that cute pouting?"

Roman sure the hell didn't.

* * *

Ruby bid her team goodnight, while she went into her little hidey closet, closing it behind her while she opened up her Scroll. To her delight, James was already typing up a message to her.

_J: "Come, gentle night; come, loving, black-browed night; Give me my Romeo."_

She let out a light squeal, giggling to herself as she read it.

_J: I figured I'd make up for this morning —no coffee and already inundated with stupid people made it a horrible start. I hope you had a better morning and day?_

Ruby made herself comfortable and began to type back, figuring out how to explain her day to her friend.

_R: Yeah! I got my team to come to class for once. It was great —Adam showed off his awesome weapon and destroyed a Boarbatusk and half of Professor Port's classroom, Mercury showed everyone his legendary kicks and fighting style by beating this jerkass team to bits in Professor Goodwitch's class, and Professor Oobleck went Zoom Zoom! with me._

For a few moments, there was nothing, but Ruby waited patiently.

_J: Oh…I…see…Sounds very…eventful?_

_R: Sure was! And then at dinner, the leader of that jerkass team was being mean to this cool second year student, who was a cute Rabbit Faunus, and I rushed to her defense! I made sure he got his due and was punished accordingly by Professor Goodwitch._

_J: That was quite valiant of you, Ruby. I'm glad you took the initiative to right a wrong._

_R: I think it's time I go to bed now though :(_

_J: Then —"Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow."_

Ruby smiled widely and replied goodnight back, closing her Scroll and putting it away. Then she climbed out of her closet bed and went to where the bunk beds were, seeing a sleeping Neo already in bed. Climbing up the beds' stairs, she slid under her blanket and went to sleep herself.

Started 12/9/20 – Completed 12/13/20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got long XD Also, I had waaaay too much fun with it lol ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Quick Points:
> 
> 1\. Ozpin has a lot on his plate, okay?
> 
> 2\. Poor Goodwitch.
> 
> 3\. This is not the end of Weiss' campaign…and Jaune can't catch a break either, whoops.
> 
> 4\. Boohoo Cardin :D
> 
> 5\. Ruby can be vicious :D
> 
> 6\. Ruby also doesn't explain well or give the whole picture –James Ironwood Knows Nothing (he can replace Jon Snow now XD).


End file.
